


Equipero 3: Wanting Resolution

by Meri



Series: Equipero Series [3]
Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: AU, Forced Marriage, M/M, pre-HBP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-06
Updated: 2007-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-12 00:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meri/pseuds/Meri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry tries to find resolution with Snape after their forced marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equipero 3: Wanting Resolution

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** She owns it all, not me. But I bet Snape likes me better.
> 
>  **Note 1:** This story was written in honor of Regan_V's birthday. She is the best of betas and a wonderful friend.
> 
>  **Note 2:** This series became an AU with the publication of Half-Blood prince
> 
>  **Note 3:** This is part 3 of the Equipero series. This story can be read on its own, but it will make more sense if you read the first 2.
> 
>  **Note 4:** A million thanks to Beth H. for a fabulous (and quick) beta.

Harry woke from a dream of warm wet lips on his prick to the reality. Without being fully awake, he thrust into it, his body understanding what was being asked of it.

"Mmmm..." he murmured, arching up again, wonderful sensation sluicing over him. It was so good to wake up this way. Without warning the lovely sensations were gone. He opened his eyes. "What?"

"Hold still, Potter," a snarly voice growled.

He had no intention of disobeying that particular command. Not with a hand, covered in slickness, moving along his now very awake prick. This wasn't the first time in the two months they'd been married that Snape had woken him this way. Snape never seemed to get enough. Not that Harry was complaining. He was probably the only seventeen year-old in the world who got almost enough sex to be satisfied. And what delightful, exciting sex it was.

Snape held him firmly and lowered himself onto Harry with a soft moan. Still more asleep than not, Harry gripped Snape's hips and thrust up into the tight heat. There was nothing more splendid than the feeling of moving inside him, the pressure starting to build, pleasure on all sides and completion still far into the future. With a moan of pure bliss, he thrust up again.

Braced on his knees over Harry, Snape shuddered again, hair dampening with sweat as they moved together in harmony. Harry tried hard to keep a steady pace. Snape was quite particular about that, and had spent a lot of time working on finding out what felt best. For both of them.

Harry had learned to stretch it out as long as possible. But that didn't seem like it was going to happen today. Not with heat already coalescing in his balls. He was already starting to spiral out of control. His body sang with each thrust. The tension pulling a little tighter, his excitement going up another notch. It was so good, so hot, so unbelievably wonderful.

Another thrust, and the heat and light started to break free.

"Not yet," Snape gasped above him. "I'm not ready."

"Too late," Harry wrapped a hand around Snape's dripping prick and pulled a few times. Snape whined, and started to come.

The convulsing heat around him triggered Harry. His control faltered, and then failed completely. He couldn't grasp it, couldn't hold on anymore. His senses started to vibrate with bliss and he let go, driving up into Snape with complete abandon.

Oh, and it was so good, so amazingly good. Perfection. He cried out, the ecstasy taking him.

Still stretched out under Snape, still holding onto his hips, Harry tried to catch his breath. If someone had asked him about it before he'd married Snape, he would have said it wasn't possible that sex could get to be so good. Oh, how wrong he'd been.

Whatever else Harry could say or not say about Snape, he'd turned out to be a generous, if sometimes pushy, lover.

His pulse evening out, he stroked along Snape's back. Silence stretched between them and Harry wanted to luxuriate in it. On the best of days, they argued more than they talked. That probably wasn't going to change any time soon.

"Quite a celebration. Better than the one in the Great Hall last night." Voldemort was dead. Killed by him just a few days ago. Not him alone, of course, he'd had help from a lot of people, not the least of which had been Snape himself. Victory had not come cheap, either.

Snape stiffened and rolled off him. "If you think a celebration is in order."

"Celebrating life. It's one of those things that people do in this situation."

"I see. And what of our dead? Our wounded."

Harry pushed himself up on an elbow to look down at him. "We care for them and we mourn them. That's what this morning is about. I know --"

"Do not."

"It's not like I didn't love him, too." Dumbledore's death had hit Harry hard, but not as hard as it had Snape. But of course, Snape never admitted he even had emotions.

"The headmaster is not the only one who died." Snape's voice cracked.

"No. And we should honor our fallen. But I don't think I need to tell you that we're going to go on living." That was probably the biggest surprise for Harry. He'd survived and Snape had survived. Not all of his friends had, of course, but thankfully, his closest friends had. And that was such a relief, that he was nearly giddy with it.

Snape was silent, lying on his back, breathing in and out slowly, steadily.

"You didn't expect to survive anymore than I did," Harry said. It wasn't even a question.

"You now have your whole life ahead of you." Something in the way Snape said it set off alarms in Harry's head. He always talked like this when he was going to say something stupid, usually about Harry leaving.

Maybe he could cut him off before he started. "Well, it's not like you're that much older than me in Wizarding years."

"Yes, but the mistakes in my life are going to --"

"Okay, let's not start this again. You're stuck with me. And me with you. Yes, we could probably go out and fuck other people --"

"Language."

"Fuck that. I'm not your student anymore." That was another thing that annoyed the bloody hell out of him. Snape had been trying to drive a wedge between them any way he could. In the two months they'd been married, it wasn't ever easy, but they sometimes found an accord out of bed. Lately, it had been one battle after another.

"You are a student."

"That's beside the point. Why do you always do this? Why can't you just let it be, for a while? We've got a lot to do and we're going to do it together." Harry wanted to smack him. How could he continue to ignore the obvious?

"Potter --"

"And you can start calling me Harry any time now." That was another thing that created a distance between them.

Snape stood. Clearly, he thought the discussion was over. "I'm going to shower. We need to be in the Great hall in half an hour. I don't plan to be late."

"You can run away now," Harry said, folding his arms over his chest, frustrated. "But I'm still going to be here when you get back."

"Not if I change the wards."

Once he'd given Harry the password to his rooms -- and that had been another long process -- he threatened to take it away on a regular basis. Harry thought about challenging him on that, but it might make him do it out of spite. "Don't."

Snape went into the bathroom.

* * *

The password to Snape's quarters still worked. Snape sat in one of the leather chairs in front of the unlit fireplace. If Dumbledore's funeral tore something in Harry's heart, he could only imagine what it had done to Snape. He had no idea what to do or say. Maybe distracting him would work.

"So," Harry ventured, not looking for a fight exactly, but he'd learned that sometimes that could bring things to a boiling point. Settling things would be good, of course that would require Snape's cooperation, which wasn't known to come his way very often or at all. "What happens now?"

Snape looked up at him, and scowled. "In what context?"

"In the context of what do we do now?"

"You will no doubt go to the celebrations tomorrow and be rewarded for your actions." He said it as if Harry should be punished instead of honored.

But Harry was used to that. It just meant that Snape wasn't happy and was taking it out on him. He wasn't happy either, but he could deal with Snape. "Actually, that wasn't what I meant."

"Then you should have said what you meant."

"What about us?"

"There is no us, Potter. There is only you and me."

Harry sat down in the chair across from Snape. "In case you've forgotten, we're married. And bonded. We need to deicide what we're going to do after I leave school. Where are we going to live, for instance?"

"You're presuming a great deal."

"Am I? I've never made a secret of the fact I thought we could make this work between us." Harry wasn't sure of it. This was Snape he was dealing with after all, but he was willing to give it a shot. The idea of seeing someone else had no appeal at all, especially given all he'd ever be able to do was fuck them. Snape held all of his legal and magical ties for life.

"And I think I've tried to make you see how delusional you are."

Harry always hated how adamant Snape was about that. Like they had some kind of choice about it. "We are stuck with each other."

"We are not. Why are you pursuing this?" Snape sounded put-upon as if Harry were trying deliberately to annoy him.

They had had this discussion before and it never changed. Harry didn't get why he was being so stubborn. "Listen, you greasy git, we can't get divorced, we can't get unbonded. We have to work it out."

"There you are wrong. We don't have to make it work. We can see other people. Be with other people." It seemed like maybe Snape wanted to do that.

Which felt like a knife in Harry's chest. And no, he had no intention of ever considering why that was so. He was sure he wouldn't like the answer at all. "Do you want to?"

"It's an option."

"Not for me."

"Don't be ridiculous. You are no more tied to me than --"

"We took vows!"

Snape laughed. "Stupid, sentimental Gryffindor. Those don't matter anymore. If they ever did. Once initiated, the bond does not care what we do."

"I care. I'm not going to be unfaithful." That was the bottom line, he had to stay married to Snape. So he was going to make the best of it. And if Snape would just try and cooperate -- oh wait, this was Snape. What was he thinking? Snape had no idea what cooperation was.

"Everyone cheats. Don't even begin to tell me you won't." Underneath the scowl and ugly words, there was something more there, something that made him believe that Snape wouldn't cheat, but he believed that Harry would.

That was so completely unfair. "Don't judge me by your own standards. You don't know what I'll do," Harry said, outraged.

"Of course, I do. You're young and idealistic now, but give yourself a few years. I'm not easy to live with." And of course, that was the truth. He was bloody impossible.

That didn't mean Harry was just going to give up, though. "I have noticed that."

"You don't live with me."

"What would you call the last two months?"

"Sexual intercourse, even nightly, is not living with someone."

"I do more than fuck you here. I spend every night and weekend."

"Much to the dismay of your friends."

"Hermione understands. And Ron will deal with it. He's had a lot going on in the last few months."

"He hasn't dealt with it yet." Surprisingly, Snape sounded offended, but that could be residual anger from something Ron did to him anytime in the last couple of years.

"I'm going to talk to him pretty soon." Like in the next week before classes started again. "He'll come around."

"And if he does not?"

"Then he's not the friend I thought he was." But Ron would come around. Harry knew all he needed to do was explain. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything. I simply don't want to be inconvenienced. Anymore than I've been."

"Like this morning was an inconvenience. I know you're afraid of something, I just can't work out what it is."

Snape snarled at him and stood up. "As interesting as I'm sure you find this conversation, I must be going."

"Where? It's late."

"I have patrols to do. I want you gone by the time I return."

Harry wasn't going to let him get away that easily. "We're not done here."

"Oh, I think we are." And Snape turned, robes flaring and walked out.

Well, he had to come back at some point, didn't he.

* * *

As the door closed, Harry sighed and leaned back on the sofa. What the bloody hell was he going to do about that greasy git? There might be a way to make him understand, but Harry didn't know what it was.

He got up and fixed himself a drink. Maybe it would relax him enough to come up with something brilliant.

No. Snape was not going to give in and accept what they had or what they could maybe find together.

It wasn't that Harry was foolish enough to want or expect love from him, either. There wasn't much chance of that, not with Snape. But companionship, someone to come home to at the end of the day. That wasn't much to ask for, was it? And lest he forget, there was also the fantastic sex.

Harry swirled the contents of his glass, surprised to find the ice melted. He sighed and took a sip. No matter how he looked at it, it always came back to getting Snape to agree, which he didn't seem inclined to do.

The door opened, startling him. Harry looked up.

"What are you still doing here?" Snape asked, scowling.

"I told you I wasn't going to leave."

Snape sighed. "I suppose you want sex." The way he said it made it sound vaguely dirty. As if he didn't really want to do it.

Harry stood up and went over to where Snape was standing, just inside the door. Crowding him into the door, Harry leaned up and kissed him slowly, languidly, just exactly as he knew Snape liked. There was only a moment's hesitation as if Snape were trying to convince himself that he could resist, and then he kissed back.

Harry's tongue slid in, mapping familiar surfaces. Wet and warm and oh, so good. He reluctantly pulled back. "Go and take your potion."

"What makes you think it will be me tonight?" His tone was strident, argumentative, maybe he didn't want to be fucked or more likely he was spoiling for a fight.

He wasn't going to get into it on this subject. While he might prefer being on top, he had no objections to being fucked, especially when Snape made it so pleasurable. "Umm... because it's been you all but two or three nights? Do you want me to take it? I will."

"No. I'll take it." And he turned and went into the loo.

Harry took off his clothes, dumping them on the chair and climbing into bed. It was kind of odd that he was so comfortable naked in Snape's bed. He remembered he hadn't started out that way. Must be all the pleasure he found there.

When Snape finally came out, he was still fully dressed. What was wrong now? He was about to ask that when Snape sighed and started to take his clothes off. A few tense minutes later, he slid naked into bed.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, reaching out to gather Snape close to him. Again, Snape seemed to resist for a moment before he gave in.

"Fine. Get on with it." Snape lay stiffly in his arms.

Didn't he want to fuck? Had Harry done something wrong? He wasn't going to force the issue. "No. Not unless you want to."

"If you don't wish to, then you can just leave." If possible, Snape got tenser. Clearly he was ill at ease and unhappy, in a way that he hadn't ever been.

Harry didn't think it was about sex. Which meant it was something in the mine field of Snape's emotions. He wasn't sure he wanted to get into that. Because it was far too easy to run afoul of something and have it blow-up in his face. Usually rather spectacularly, but almost always painfully. "What is wrong with you? I thought you wanted this?"

"I did. I do. Just get on with it. Or not."

"I will then." Letting go of his worry, Harry leaned over and kissed him deeply. Snape could stop him if he wanted to.

Damn, but Harry hoped he wouldn't. Snape could kiss like no one's business. He moved closer, his tongue sliding into Snape's mouth.

Sweet sensations rolled over him as Snape kissed him harder, holding him as if he mattered to Snape. Maybe he did. Maybe Snape cared. Or maybe he just liked the sex. Harry wasn't sure, but that was okay, too. And at this point in the proceedings, he wasn't going to worry about it.

He stroked down Snape's thin back, cupping his arse. Small, to be sure, but round and firm. Harry squeezed, and Snape pushed back, murmuring appreciatively.

He rolled Snape onto his back, and started to kiss down his torso. There were little things he'd come to enjoy about Snape that amused him as well as turned him on. The taste of the soft skin on his belly. The trail of black hair against pale flesh that led downward. He followed it now with predictable results.

Snape arched up and gave a rough moan as Harry closed his mouth over his hard prick. He loved the taste of that, too. Salty and smooth, he ran his tongue over the slit and Snape shuddered. There was something so satisfying about giving pleasure. Harry smiled around his mouthful.

It didn't take long before Snape's hand in his hair tightened, but Harry didn't pull away. He wanted Snape relaxed before they went on. The hot liquid hit the back of his throat and he swallowed.

Totally relaxed and sated, Snape still moaned his way through the preparations, giving instructions, too. He growled appreciatively when Harry finally slid into him. No matter how many times he had Snape, he always felt so good, so right. He just couldn't imagine doing this with someone he didn't care about. Even a little.

Harry picked up his pace, the tension starting to pull tighter, the world narrowing, the pleasure building.

"Put your back into it, boy," Snape ordered.

"Trying." Sweat was dripping off Harry's hair onto Snape.

"Try harder." Snape met his thrusts and took hold of Harry's hips to pull him in closer.

Sweating and cursing, Harry plunged into him hard, fast, his hips straining, until nothing else existed except tight heat and bright pleasure. As it all started to crest, he threw his head back and cried out. It was too much, too good, too....

Bliss exploded around him and Harry gave himself up to it.

He breathed out and opened his eyes. "Mmm...." With the greatest reluctance, he moved out and off Snape, helping him to straighten his legs. Sometimes, Snape got cramps in his calves, and Harry rubbed them now to avoid that.

Snape rolled over and snuggled down into the bedding. "Thanks. Go to sleep, Harry. It's late."

No more talking tonight. Harry was just as happy to do as he was told.

* * *

"You think yourself in love with me, don't you? That's what this is all about."

Harry had got as far as putting his pack down when Snape sprang that on him. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry. "What are you on about now?"

"That's what this rubbish about living together is all about." Snape looked so smug, as if he'd figured out some great problem that had been bothering him for a long time.

"You're mental. I'm not even sure I like you all that well." He hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but really, the idea of it. That was probably the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. However, he was smart enough not to tell Snape that.

Snape's look changed. Disappointed, maybe? "Then what is it? This can't go on."

"All ready to disabuse me of being in love with you? Going to tell me how I was mad for even thinking you'd return my supposed feelings? Where did you come up with this?" So much for being smart enough to keep it to himself. But it was so absurd.

A spot of color showed on Snape's cheeks. "You have to admit it would explain it better than you've been able to. Not that I expect you to be articulate, but you could at least attempt to explain to me why you wish to pursue the matter."

Harry sighed. "I've tried to explain it to you. You're not listening to me. What part of married don't you get."

"Really, that is the problem. You consider this a real marriage. And I do not." Snape huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

"Of course I do. We can't get divorced. That's the issue. If we could, I'd be all over it." Well, he probably would be. The sex was still a pretty big selling point. It just couldn't be that good with someone else.

"As I said --"

"I don't want to go out and fuck some wizard I don't know when I can stay home and fuck you."

"You're being ridiculous." Snape sounded really irritated.

What else could he say to make the bastard understand? It sounded way too girly to say that he didn't want to fuck a stranger, but that was the truth. "Too bad. This is how it's going to be."

"You are not the one giving orders."

"Neither are you."

"You're not my equal. You will submit to my will." Snape didn't actually say it as if he believed Harry would do it. Good thing, too. They'd fought this battle already.

Harry smirked at him. "Actually you submit to me." Not that it mattered much. Harry knew who controlled the sex they had.

Snape laughed at that. It took years off his face. "Do not confuse sexual positions for power. I *choose* to let you fuck me. Because it feels good. No other reason."

"Fine. It was a joke --"

"Not a very funny one."

"Oh, give it a rest, all right. The thing is that I don't want to go out and find someone else to sleep with since I'm not going to be able to marry them."

"Stupid sentimental Gryffindor."

"You've said. Can we move on?"

"To what exactly? We haven't finished this subject. Unless you want to have sex."

He couldn't quite believe he was going to say this, but, "That can't be the answer to everything. We have to talk to each other."

Snape sighed and sat down in the chair by the fire. "Perhaps you're right. So talk."

As much as Harry would have liked to have initiated some conversation about the subject at hand, they had gone over everything. Maybe something else. Something not about their lives.

"I spoke with Ron today." It had gone surprisingly well, too. Ron had been understanding about it, once Harry had explained what he was looking for.

Snape raised an eyebrow.

"He's better about things. It sometimes takes him a while to understand or get used to something."

"It's been two months."

"He lost his mum two weeks before our wedding. Besides, it wasn't the married part that bothered him. He understood the necessity of that. It was --"

"The fact you enjoyed sex with me. That you kept coming back. I told you at the time that would happen. He's not the only one who had a problem with it."

"He was the only one I cared about. And I told him that my relationship with you wasn't going to change."

"Everything changes. It's the sex, isn't it?"

At this point, he didn't know what Snape was thinking. He'd thought he'd known, but Snape hadn't done anything to confirm it, so it was still only a guess. Harry shrugged. "Partly. Even you have to admit it's really good."

"I don't have to admit anything. And it's simply practice. You could have that with anyone." Snape didn't really believe it. That was pretty clear in his tone.

"I don't need it with anyone else. I've already got it with you."

"You don't even like me. Imagine how good it would be with someone you do like." And was there ever so faint a note of hurt in that? Should he believe what he thought he'd heard or not?

"I do like you. Mostly." Harry just couldn't imagine getting closer to anyone else. But maybe he could. He was young enough. In the end, though, he was still going to be married to Snape. What person would want him under those terms? And would he want someone who did? It was better to try and make this work. Now, if only he could convince Snape of that. Blasted prat.

"Your sincerity overwhelms me." Snape's expression was sour.

"What do you expect? It's like you're trying as hard as you can to drive me away. I don't get it. Isn't it in your best interest to keep me around?"

"I can't see how it would be."

"The longer I stay around, the longer you keep having sex."

"Aside from the obvious that unlike you, I had sex before we wed, you also overrate your charms."

That stung. He'd thought Snape enjoyed him. No wait, he knew Snape enjoyed it. That wasn't something that could be faked. "I had sex before, too."

"Once."

He should never have told him that. "Twice."

"You're so experienced. Go out and get more experience and then come back and we'll talk."

That really sounded like he didn't want Harry. But that was also how Snape defended himself when he was afraid of something. Being hurt? Maybe. Harry sat down across from Snape and looked at him.

He was still an ugly git with greasy hair. Except that after two months of great sex and working together to defeat Voldemort, he didn't actually think of Snape in negative terms anymore. Why would Snape think of him that way?

Maybe he didn't. Maybe instead of hating him, Snape kind of liked him, too. But if that were true, then why.... The answer he came up with was just too unlikely.

He looked at Snape again. Did he? Could he?

No. Harry wasn't sure of much, but that he was sure of. It would fuck up his world view way too badly.

"What are you thinking about so intently? I don't trust that look at all."

Harry kept his eyes down. "Nothing. Why don't we just let everything slide for a while and go on as we have been."

"Because in two weeks, school will end and you'll leave for the summer."

"Aren't you going to leave, too?"

"I may. Or I may stay on for a while. You are going to start Auror training."

"I thought I'd find a flat in London. I was hoping you'd come with me. At least for the summer."

Snape was silent. "I have a place of my own. You may accompany me there, if you wish."

"Yes. That would be nice."

"It is only for the summer, mind."

"I know." Harry smiled. It was a beginning. He'd just keep extending things until Snape finally realized that they weren't going to get away from each other.

\--finis   
01/06/07


End file.
